no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
