dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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