is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
