All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
