We're facebook friends in real life
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
