so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
