i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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