but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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