I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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