You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
