Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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