you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Randomize
