cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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