I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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