I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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