end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize