I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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