I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
