every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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