Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My balls are so social today.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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