Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
