i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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