i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
