3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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