Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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