C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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