i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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