Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When did angry sex become our thing?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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