He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
