Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
