how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
