Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
