I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
