im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
