Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
