Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
