last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
