I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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