Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
well you can't waste a boner
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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