I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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