Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
