I wannas sexs uuuuu
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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