Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it's great music for shaving your balls
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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