Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please, let me fuck your mom
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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