Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How's work?
Spinning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There are leaves in my underwear?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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