Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize