You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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