I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize