Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I love you.
Bad choice
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
