in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
