Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
