And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Are we still banned from the library?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
