come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
