He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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