Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
