I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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