As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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