I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
