I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize