just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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