One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
