The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
