I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Randomize
